Settling In August 28,2005

The following update is from Melissa's letter dated August 28th. I received it on Monday, September 12th. Her new address is: Melissa Leedle, PO Box 737, Lephalale 0555, South Africa. She requested I enter it on her blogsite. Mom

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I've made a couple of friends. It's strange to have friends that are guys, again. For some reason I share more common interests with the guys. Is it bad that I find conversations about the lack of datable men, make-up, and drinking alcohol boring? It is hard though because most of the friends that I made are learning other languages. This means that I don't see them as much during training and they will live farther away. The Sepedi language group (20 education trainees) will all be placed closer together in Limpopo province in a location close to Polokwane. My friends are learning Tswana (northern Limpopo), and Venda (Limpopo next to Kruger National Park). Some of the Non-Government Organization (NGO/health) volunteers are learning Zulu (living in Kwazulu-Natal) and Swati (in Mpumalanga) along with the other languages and areas I mentioned above.

We found out our languages on the last day of orientation and we traveled from Mokopane to Moltjie that afternoon (usually an hour drive but it took 2.5 hours in our buses). There was a welcome ceremony with singing . . . then waiting for your name to be called to your host mother (mma in Sepedi). I waited . . . and waited . . . eventually it was clear that my host family didn't show up and the coordinators had to find me a new place to live. The problem with finding me (and 2 other poor, famililess souls) a home was that they wanted to place everyone close to their language trainer (there are about 20 trainers) and some of the families live 10 miles away from the center of the village. It all has worked out though and I have a family.

South Africans keep asking me if I like it here. I'll tell you the same answer I give them, "It's very different." Bad first: The bathroom/sanitation situation. There's a pit toilet outside that all families have. It can vary anywhere from a hole in the ground within a small outside room to an elaborate permanent porta-potty; each is different. Some families have built water tanks above their homes so that they have indoor plumbing. Regardless of the toilet situation, no one leaves their bedroom to pee at night. There's a chamber pot in each bedroom, but 'the big one goes outside.' The reason for staying inside is either that there are snakes outside at night or that witches will haunt you. I'm happy to tell you that neither has happened so far. This leads into bathing. Again, some families have set up running water but most use the basin method. When I wish to 'prepare myself' I heat up about 4 liters of water in a hot pot, pour into a laundry basin (about 16" in circumference), and add 2 liters cold water in the basin. The secret is to wash from your hair downwards and to let go of the notion that soap should all come off your body. The one exception is when you have your period, then the pelvic area gets saved for last. It's very dusty and grimy here but it never seems like there is a place to wash your hands (unless you want to go through the heating water routine and then wash without soap).

My 2nd bad thing is that it's difficult to go running here. I shouldn't run by myself, run in the dark, wear shorts that are too short, or spend too much time with men my own age (ideal running buddies because they're 'in shape' from soccer but could start rumors/ lose respect in my community/ be a general danger to myself. Unlike the sanitation/toilet one which takes some getting used to but is completely doable, this is one that I'm really struggling with. Add in the expectation that because I'm a young female I spend my free time handwashing clothes, cooking, and cleaning and it makes it difficult to even find daylight hours to run.

My final bad thing is that I shouldn't walk around alone, especially at night. During the day it's not so bad, just a few more suggestive comments than I'd like. I've noticed that if I'm with a group the comments completely disappear, especially if I'm with a group of some of the older volunteers. Night is a different story. It's as if I'm asking to be harrassed/robbed at night. At least there's an easy solution: don't walk alone at night!

Those are the not-so-fun differences. They're not bad, they'll just take some getting used to, precisely what training is for. Onto the good differences. . .

People here are SO happy when you greet them in the local language. They'll stop in the street to start a conversation with you and most try to teach you a few new words. The kids are especially amazing. I had already made friends with the neighbor children, meaning I get greeted with hugs and screams of, 'Melissa!' whenever I get home, but we seem to attract merry bands of children wherever we go.

Today I started to make friends with the 4-year old gin that I live with. Before this weekend I was having a hard time figuring out what my role in the the house was and determined that I was going to be perpetually confused because of the language barrier (the mother speaks some English but knew remarkably little about why I'm here). Now, I understand what the mother expects of me (to take care of myself cleaning and cooking wise) and she's starting to trust me more because her daughter thinks I'm hillarious. Mipone understands about as much English as I know Sepedi, but we get along great. The 12-year old boy, Sydney, says, "I hear you," but I don't think he understands me. While the neighborhood children play with me, he normally watches from the outskirts. He seems to not eat and often disappears for hours on end. The mother has an administration job in a near-by town, a 22-year old working for Johnson and Johnson doing chemical work nad a 15-year old in boarding school both in Jo-burg. The father was a taxi (really a 15-passenger van) driver but died of an illness (sometimes the polite way to say HIV/AIDS) last December.

Although the host mother knows very little about why I'm (or my peers) are here, she and about 100 other families have welcomed the Peace Corps trainees and language trainers into their homes. In exchange, the Peace Corps provides a bag of rice, apples, and vegetables each week (food that the families that we're staying with don't really need; they all have a comfortable income). I don't know of any community in the United States that would welcome a group this large as we have been welcomed here. For comparison, Moletjie is about the size of Walworth and Fontana without the supermarkets, hotels, and restaurants, and banks. (Mom's note: These 2 towns are resort towns located on the southwest side of Geneva Lake, if you take away all of the businesses that Melissa mentioned, there's just mostly homes left on a few streets on busy thoroughfares.) Add in a couple of roadside stalls, taxi loading areas, and leave in the bars and post office. My final good thing is that people here are remarkably optimistic and very resourceful. Most of the homes here have electricity, some have running water, but in each home the families reuse everything they possibly can before burning it with the rubbish. Water used for bathing is reused to wash socks, then used to water the plants outside. Children make toys out of discarded wire and wheels, and toilet paper is really newspaper (although I usually carry real toilet paper with me). People in shanty towns somehow manage to have perfectly clean and pressed clothes.

The landscape is beautiful, although mostly free of wildlife. Wandering goats and chickens are everywhere and cows are herded to the nature preserve each day.

All in all, I'm adjusting to my life here. It's slower, most conversations I don't understand, and I rarely know what I'm going to do tomorrow. Each of these things would have annoyed me at home but it's good here. The next time you hear from me I'll probably have visited my permanent site and figured out an exercise routine. Exciting Things!